Getting Over The Jealousy When You Know About Her/His Ex

It is said that all human beings have a jealous bone in their body. But what has that to do with the matters of the heart? Jealousy as an emotion or feeling is hard to categorize as good or bad. It depends upon the perspective of the individual who undergoes that feeling. However, one thing should be noted that the feeling of ‘jealousy’ has got different implications. There can be professional jealousy, personal jealousy, jealousy stemming out of insecurity, of fear of being left out and so on. But the jealousy that a girl or a boy feels when he/she comes to know about his/her ex or encounters the ex partner is a result of many factors. It is therefore important to analyze first the causes of such jealousy.

The reasons for the jealousy can be accounted as:

• Insecurity
• Possessiveness
• Fear of being left alone
• Inferiority complex
• Doubt about your place
• Suspicion
• Lack of enough trust for each other
• Excessive dependency on one another

It is however interesting to note that despite all these negative reasons, jealousy in the world of love is treated in a very positive sense. Often it is thought to be a test to judge the intensity of love that he/she feels for each other. The more jealous one is, it is said, is better. But in some relationships things might go out of hand for such a jealous feeling. Quarrels, misunderstandings follow and the relationship suffers a bad ending. In any case if a couple faces such a grave situation in their relationship, then it is their responsibility to get it clarified and not resorting to a break up. The main idea is to stay calm and try to get over the jealousy.

Things that can be done to get over the jealous feeling once you come to know about his/her ex are:

• Be clear about your past from the very onset of a new relationship. Hiding things about your ex would only complicate matters,
• Spend more time with him/her,
• Try to understand him/her,
• Trust your partner,
• Don’t suspect him/her if his/her ex calls or sends a message,
• Talk openly with him/her regarding your feelings,
• Strongly believe that he/she was his/her past. It is gone,
• Believe in your love and yourself. Being confident is the best way to gain control over oneself, and
• Keep yourself busy with work. An empty mind will only make you ponder over the feeling.

It is a universally accepted truth that ‘Time is the best healer’. This is what is required in a relationship to make it successful. Calm his/her fears by making him/her feel special. Give him/her time to get over the past and shower your love and care to make him/her feel that you are the one. Understand yourself first to know your partner better. Make the bond so strong that there is no scope of jealousy to occur. Above everything else maintain a transparent relationship to keep jealousy at bay.

Article Summery: Understand yourself first to know your partner better. Make the bond so strong that there is no scope.

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