Don’t hide the hurt of domestic abuse

Sisters, brothers, children and partners – the realms of domestic abuse know no bounds and often it is those closest to the victim who causes the most damage. Instead of providing support through tough times, the victim’s nearest and dearest are a common cause of angst and abuse in people’s lives, and this fact in itself can be difficult to overcome.

One out of every three women will suffer from a form of domestic abuse at some stage throughout their life, as will one in six men. More often than not the abuser is a family member or someone known to the sufferer and abuse can take place anywhere; in the home, at work or whilst socialising.

A common misconception of domestic violence lies in the assumption that abuse is always physical. However, the truth is you don’t need visible bruises to be a sufferer of domestic abuse; what you cannot see is just as damaging as what you can, and emotional and mental abuse are equally as common as their physical counterpart.

It is also not only the direct victim whose life is affected by domestic abuse, however, as children, friends and family often become involved and can also be adversely affected by the abuser and the surrounding circumstances. The family unit is particularly affected by this type of abuse. In Britain, almost three-quarters of children considered ‘at risk’ by Social Services are living in households where one of their parents or carers is abusing the other. A high proportion of these children are themselves being abused by the same perpetrator, reiterating the fact that domestic abuse is repetitive and pattern forming.

The nature of domestic abuse means it often goes unnoticed, unreported and ignored but it must be remembered that domestic abuse is against the law and something can always be done to help anyone subjected to it. Civil law primarily protects victims of abuse whilst criminal law seeks punishment for the abuser. Whatever the circumstances and situation, the law exists to help those who need it most and domestic abuse is just the same as any other crime committed and will be taken just as seriously.

The first step on the road to recovery is sharing the experience with someone else. Domestic abuse tends to worsen and intensify over time so suffering in silence and hoping the problem will go away is not the answer.

Hiding the hurt will not rectify the situation and to truly overcome domestic abuse the help of others is required; whether it is friends, family, support organisations, doctors or the police and judiciary system. Domestic abuse and violence can make the sufferer feel isolated but they are never alone and a wealth of support organisations are in operation, providing an array of services from counselling to provision of temporary housing.

Sharing the experience of domestic abuse is a difficult step to take but doing so will herald a fresh start for anyone affected and is a positive step towards ending abuse that no-one deserves to suffer from.

Paul McIndoe writes for a digital marketing agency. This article has been commissioned by a client of said agency. This article is not designed to promote, but should be considered professional content.